You do you

This is a concept that is becoming easier and easier for me to come to terms with. In middle school and high school, not so much. I felt like I was always trying to conform into something I wasn't in order to try and fit into the group I was with. Whether that be the clothes I was wearing, my hairstyle, how much makeup I put on, etc. I would adjust it to fit in with those around me. And the majority of the time I was still so self-conscious about it that doing so didn't even help me; it usually made me feel even less comfortable.

Now that I'm quickly approaching 30, I have a much better outlook on this type of thing. I mean, it's the whole reason behind #unapologeticallyblog, right? Be unapologetically YOU, not matter what that is.

A few weeks ago I went to coffee with an old elementary school friend. She and I had recently reconnected (through this blog, actually) and she happened to be back in our hometown all the way from Miami when I, also, happened to be in town. I reached out about grabbing coffee at a new local shop, Chemistry Coffee Co. (SO, SO good. If you're ever in the Marshall area, check it out), and she said, "Yes I would love to!". We met up on a Sunday morning and before I knew it, over an hour had passed.

I'm not going to lie, I thought it was going to be awkward. I mean, she and I hadn't spoken in person since...probably 6th or 7th grade. LITERALLY. But it wasn't. At all.

She and I are very different people. Which is part of the reason we fell apart in middle school. We simply went our separate ways. But, now that we're both older, we've both come to recognize how beautiful our differences are. And you know what's so crazy about it? While we are so vastly different, we can both relate on SO many levels at the same time. We both have gone through some very similar struggles in the friendship department and it's so refreshing to be able to talk through those kinds of things with someone you never thought you'd rekindle a friendship with.

We will likely struggle to continue to grow this friendship since we live a thousand miles apart and will likely never be in the same place for an extended period of time, but I still very much enjoyed the time we spent together. And I would do it over and over again. Connections like that, whether short-term or long, are irreplaceable and priceless. Never take for granted or pass on the opportunity to catch up with someone. Also, let go of those grudges and open your heart to getting to know someone in their present form; we all change a lot as we get older and it's usually for the better.

This friend and I are very different. But the more we talked, the more I realized that that's okay. You know what? It's more than okay. It's what makes us, us. And that's a beautiful thing. I no longer feel like I have to change who I am in order to fit in with those around me. And I think a lot of girls in their teenage years will go through this struggle. They will feel like they need to conform; it's, sadly, kind of part of growing up. But it will get better. And once you approach that 30-year mark, you'll really start to love who you are. It's like a magic switch that gets flipped.

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This post is also a PSA to never settle for less than you deserve. And to believe people when they continuously tell you you're GOOD. Believe them. Build up that confidence. Build up that ego; it's okay...to a certain extent. ;) I still struggle with this - believing in my abilities. I can tell myself a million times that I'm good at what I do and it never sinks in. But when superiors start to continuously tell me that I'm good at what I do...now THAT I can start to believe in.

You should too.

Ask for more. Whether that be monetary compensation or responsibility, it doesn't matter. Ask for it. You know you're capable and worthy. Your superiors know you're capable and worthy. And a lot of the time, things don't happen unless you ask for them and go after it. So do it. Push past those fears of rejection and get yours.

You will, likely, have to have this conversation with yourself multiple times throughout your career. And that's okay. Just don't forget to have it. Don't forget to believe in yourself.

YOU. DO. YOU.

XOXO,

Unapologetically Blog

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A place to be #unapologeticallyme