XOXO 2.0
- becca
- Feb 25, 2020
- 5 min read
I missed Pastor Jeremy's live service on the second week in the XOXO series, so, once again, I had to listen to it after the fact. Which, by the way, can I just point out how much I love modern technology?? Yes, it allows me to be more lazy, which is NOT a good thing, but it also allows me to catch amazing messages when I wasn't able to be there in person. And I am so very grateful that I was able to catch this sermon. I mean, I almost cried at one point. It was that impactful for me.
I know I've said this probably 10 times, but I'm going to say it again: Pastor Jeremy and North Point Church are simply incredible. He takes scripture and modernizes it, but not in a way that completely degradates (is that a word?) its original meaning. And the church is a place that welcomes ALL who are trying to follow Christ; who are doing their best to live Christian lives.
I'll share the link to watch this service online at the end of this blog post if you'd like to catch the real thing, but I, once again, wanted to talk through my thoughts on it; how it made me feel and the impact it had on me, personally. I'm hopeful that this message will have a positive impact on you as well.
First of all, if you haven't read my blog post on the first sermon within this series, you should go check that out first. I'll link it here. The reason you should do that is because it's just as impactful as the second sermon. So impactful that Pastor Jeremy lead the second sermon off with a comment from one of his audience members. This member had attended the first sermon with his ex-wife whom he was now dating again. He stated that if he had attended that first sermon prior to divorcing his now ex-wife, that they would still be married today. That's a pretty powerful statement, but I can 100% see how it would be true.
Relationships are the area of our lives where we have the most space for spiritual awakening. Why? Because not only are they where we connect with others, but they're where we have the opportunity to spread the love of Jesus. Relationships are NOT meant to complete us. If you're looking for a relationship simply because you feel a hole in your life...you're not going to fill that hole with any relationship other than one with God.
It's challenging, though, isn't it? Because most of us don't like to be alone. We like sharing our lives with someone else; to be able to lean on someone else. And that's all wonderful. It's not like you SHOULDN'T look for someone to share in the battles of life with you. The important thing to know, though, is that that person isn't going to complete you. Or fix you. They can definitely have a positive role in your life, but don't rely on them to take away all of your pain and suffering; all you'll end up with is disappointment. But that's where God comes in.
In this sermon, Pastor Jeremy talks a lot about sex and how it's no longer this special act because there's entirely too much of it available now. He related it to pineapples. And how pineapples used to be these incredibly expensive things that only the insanely wealthy could afford to have. Now they're everywhere. The law of supply and demand; pineapples are no longer such a prized possession. The same thing has come of sex in relationships. It has now become almost a requirement BEFORE marriage; you have to make sure you're compatible...right? But the problem with that is that sex has now become a precursor to everything else...everything else that's really MORE important than sex in a relationship.
So what happens? People give themselves up sexually in a relationship to then find that all of the MORE IMPORTANT things don't click. Well, whoops...you're "shit outta luck" now, aren't ya? Many have settled for FEELING intimacy rather than actually having it. But intimacy is SO much more than a physical connection, you guys.
Physical exposure should not trump your commitment.
Our culture now says that in order to find the person we want and need we have to lead with our desires. WRONG.
What happens if you enter into a marriage solely based on your physical connection? Well we all know that that's going to lead to troubles down the road. We all hear stories of marriages going to "shit" after the "I do"'s are said. Likely these are relationships that started and continued based on a physical connection and that alone.
However, that's not to say that you can't make a relationship or marriage work when it started based on a physical connection. It just means that you're going to have to give it the necessary time and attention TO make it work.
Throw another log on the fire.
This stands true for relationships that began the correct way, also. Now, I am no expert. I am, obviously, not married, but I do know that making a relationship work takes a lot of...work. No matter how strong your connection is initially, you're going to have to put a TON, and I mean a TON, of effort into making it last. Just because you've been married for 10, 20, 30+ years doesn't mean you have an intimate relationship. You have to work to build that connection daily.
Pastor Jeremy also recognizes that there is not one person on the planet who has done all of this perfectly. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone goes through life on a different path. But what does being a Christian mean? Personalizing growth and projecting grace. Never be so focused on someone else's sin that we lose sight of our own personal next steps. Everyone is in a unique season and it is our responsibility to project grace on those individuals who may be struggling in their season.
Every day strive to be better than you were the day before. That includes not comparing yourself to those around you. As said previously, we're all in a unique season of life. And that season comes with all kinds of challenges and ways to approach those challenges. If you're constantly comparing your relationship to those around you, you're never going to achieve drastic improvements within your relationship. Take a good, hard look at what needs to change on your personal path to growth. Focus on that. One relationship may look amazing from the outside. And you may wish your relationship was that same way. But you never know what that relationship looks like internally; the part that really matters.
Stop comparing. Stop judging. Work on personal growth.
When you start having thoughtful intention in terms of what you want and need in a relationship...that's when you'll find what you've been searching for. God isn't going to automatically remove all of your sorrows from a relationship. He's going to be there with you through all of the ups and downs; he's going to partner with you. But YOU and YOU alone are the only one who can actually make positive changes within your relationship or marriage.
There's no win in dwelling on the past and any mistakes you may have made. Today is the day you go forward and start working on your personal growth. None of us are judged by God by the things that we've done. God is oh-so forgiving; all He cares about is your path from here on out. Make a conscious effort to be the best Christian that you can be, both personally and within your relationships. Be caring, be understanding, be forgiving. After-all, that's the same grace that God approaches US with every day.
Here is the link to watch this sermon online if you would like to do so. I highly recommend it. Pastor Jeremy is incredible with words and at applying scripture to the culture of today. Stay tuned for additional thoughts and comments; this series is not over.
Thanks for joining me thus far!
A place to be #unapologeticallyme
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