Stop judging others and work on self-acceptance

Self-acceptance: "the awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses, the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one's talents, capabilities, and general worth, and feelings of satisfaction with one's self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors or choices." Woah...that was a mouthful, huh? But if you really think about it, you can easily break it down into something so simple: being okay with who you were and who you are now.

I write about this quite a lot. Just the general concept of being totally, completely, 100% okay with who you are and not apologizing for whoever that is...#unapologeticallyme. But I think a very important step in the process of getting to the point where we can actually live unapologetically and authentically is recognizing when and why we may be judging others. Because if we're doing that, if we're judging others all the time, we're not working on becoming the best version of ourselves. We're too worried about what others are doing.

So...being judgmental. How do we work on this? We all know we all do it; don't try to pretend you don't. It's human nature, unfortunately. And I think the only way we can truly work on it is simply by being aware of our mind, our thoughts. Before I started this "mindfulness" journey a month or so ago, I didn't really THINK about what I was thinking or saying or doing and the meaning behind whatever that was. I just thought it, said it or did it. When we become more mindful, we become so much more aware of everything we do, of all of the thoughts spinning through our minds and what they truly mean. Now I'm able to recognize when I'm judging someone and am able to stop and think, "Why am I doing this right now? Why is this negativity being stirred in my mind?". For me, it usually comes back to my own insecurities. Insecurities I'm now working on every day. For others it can stem from past traumas they've endured, how they grew up, how they may have been treated physically or emotionally by someone they love, etc. There are a hundred different reasons for why you may be judgmental towards someone whom you have never even met before.

As I mentioned, mine always goes back to my insecurities. I'm insecure about my physical appearance (height, weight, etc.) and my personality/how people portray me. I've always been insecure about how quiet I am. I think people can see it as being snobby or arrogant or uppity. But those who really know me, know that I'm the furthest thing from any of those descriptions. The problem, though, is that since I am quiet and reserved, it takes a while to get to know me. So it's easy for people to make quick judgments against me, and those quick judgments can be very hurtful, can't they? So since I've been on this mindfulness journey, I'm very quick to realize when I'm making quick judgments on other people. I know how hurtful that can be. So, when I feel my mind headed in that direction, I immediately stop myself. I remember that I don't REALLY know this person. I have no idea who they really are, what they've been through, what makes them, them. So who am I to judge? Think about how much more of a positive place social media would be if we all lived our lives this way. NO. MORE. TROLLS. #amiright?

I follow Hannah G from the bachelor on Instagram. She was making dinner on her stories and mispronounced gnocchi (I have no idea how you pronounce this either) and she got SO much hate for mispronouncing this word. I mean, WHO REALLY CARES, people! Give the poor girl a break! She made a really hilarious comeback, which is probably the best way to handle people who seem to think their sole purpose is to put you down. We beg and plead for people to share their lives with us on social media and then we tear them down for being themselves? It's just crazy to me. If all people ever get out of this blogging venture is to treat people with more respect, then I'll have done my job.

It's hard to stop judging others prior to beginning the work on ourselves. I didn't get to the point where I could easily recognize my judgment until I started my "meditation" and quiet time practices every morning. Since I know most of you who are following me, I know you're pretty good people :) and you'll want to work on being less judgmental, and I applaud you for joining me in this. But I encourage you to begin your mindfulness/meditation journey in conjunction with your journey to becoming less judgmental. You'll find that it's easier to accomplish both if you're working on them at the same time.

So, self-acceptance. Another big reason for this blogging journey. It's easier to come to ACCEPT who you really are when you begin to RECOGNIZE who you really are. Until we recognize who we are, we cannot move forward with accepting and loving that person. I've completely recognized that I'm the quiet, reserved, funny and kinda weird girl, and I'm slowly learning to love all of those aspects of her. It's also important to remember that none of this is going to happen in a day, a week, a month or even a year. It's constant, right? Because we're human, we're never going to be the same person we were yesterday. We're always growing. And because of that, we have to constantly work on loving and accepting the person we were yesterday, the person we are today and the person we will be tomorrow.

A place to be #unapologeticallyme.