Never settle. Know your worth.

This is a lesson, I believe, that we have to learn over time. And even once we think we have it, something is likely to happen that will push us right back into that negative headspace we were in beforehand. It’s something that I think is especially challenging for women, but at the same time, SO very important to master.

While society has grown tremendously over the past several decades in terms of women empowerment, there’s still work to be done. And I’ll be 100% honest with you; I am no feminist. I actually truly believe that men have a place in this world…a role to fill. And women have an equally important, but potentially very different, role to fill. Men and women (in my mind) will never have a completely equal playing field in ALL segments of life, and I don’t think we should. And the role a man and a woman plays in a particular relationship may be completely different from another…and that’s totally normal (and wonderful). The main thing that we have to be conscious of is HOW the roles are separated in that relationship and if each person is happy with their particular role.

I know women who would be completely, 100% happy with being a stay-at-home mom. And I also know women who would lose their minds if they weren’t able to contribute financially to the family (or if they had to stay at home all day with crazy kids and no adult interaction). To each his (or her) own, right? The thing is…we cannot box ourselves into any particular role. Society has, historically, tried to place men and women into very precise boxes…and that’s just not the way the world works anymore. Thank God.

There’s a fine line we have to walk, though. Because we’ve come to this place in society, within the workplace, specifically, where women and minorities are starting to receive special treatment over men. White men in particular. And while I’m all for women and minorities having a larger place in business, it’s not right for a person (who may be less qualified) to take the spot of another simply because that person is a woman or of a minority.

This may make some of you angry, and I apologize if so. I’m not trying to cause an uproar here. But my main issue here is this: I want to be given the same opportunities as my white male counterparts, but I don’t want to be given the opportunity out of sympathy or because that particular company is trying to increase the amount of women in their leadership structure. I want to be given the opportunity because I AM just as good and qualified as my male counterparts. Don’t give me the easy way out just because I’m a woman…that’s not cool.

More women and minorities in executive leadership positions = a wonderful thing. But don’t give us special treatment. That’s demeaning and completely negates the positive impact you’re supposedly trying to have.

It’s about large corporations changing their mindset, first and foremost, of what qualifies someone to lead another. White men have historically taken these roles and yes, it’s slowly starting to change. I just want it to change because we actually DESERVE it. Not because we’re simply playing the, “not enough women in the workplace” card.

Basically…women and minorities…do NOT take the easy way out. Make sure you work your butt off so that you can say you actually deserve the position you received. Then NO ONE can take that away from you.

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I’m saying all of this because it’s something I’ve had to learn and develop in myself throughout my adult life, and because it’s something that really gets under my skin (if you can’t tell). I don’t want to be handed something. And I don’t want others to develop that mindset. That because you’re a woman or of a certain race, and society is changing to benefit those people, that you no longer have to work hard to get to where you want to be. We HAVE to change the millennial and post-millennial mindset of entitlement; that things will simply be handed to you. Our world is headed for a very dark place if something isn’t done to reverse this trend that is occurring in the youth and young adults of today.

I’ve had to stick up for myself in the workplace. I’ve had to prove my worth. But guess what? It’s paid off. And do you know how much better it feels to get what I deserve when I ACTUALLY deserve it? People will (and do) recognize when someone is going above and beyond. Managers are constantly taking mental notes of these types of things. But let me tell you…you’re so much more likely to get to where you want and DESERVE to be if you go and ask for it.

I’ve had to consciously tell myself that I’m worth more than what I’ve been given; that I should NEVER settle for anything less than what I deserve. And once I did this…once I finally realized my true potential, I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less.

Do not take the backseat just because you’re afraid of what may happen if you go for it. Do not take the backseat because you’re a minority and feel it’s not your place. Recognize your true worth, your value, and sell yourself. Confidence is big in business. Have faith in yourself, your abilities, and GO FOR IT.

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