Just because someone carries it well, doesn't mean it's not heavy

Have you ever been around someone who just recently went through a loss in the family? Or seen a woman in the grocery store with three children hanging off of her? Or witnessed someone losing a job they've had for 10 years? And all of these people seem totally okay in the moment...great, even? How about just witnessing someone in their daily life and you think, "wow...they really have it all together." Well I'm here to tell you that just because someone carries it well, doesn't mean it's not heavy.

Life, in and of itself, can be heavy. Not to mention if you throw a complete curveball into the mix. When this curveball, whatever it is, comes into play it seems to be human nature to try and brush it off; to not let it effect us. And we definitely don't like to let others see us sweat. Why do you think that is? I think it's gotten better in the past couple of decades as society has come to accept and realize that expressing your emotions is NORMAL instead of frowned upon. But it's still something that I think most people struggle with, myself included.

I was trying to get caught up on some church services I've missed out on the past few weeks since we've been so busy (not an excuse, I know), and one major topic was compassion...having compassion for others. And a big component of compassion is empathy. It's very difficult to truly have compassion for someone if you can't empathize with them. So, what is empathy?

Having empathy is not simply recognizing that someone is going through a difficult time. It's truly putting yourself in the situation. You CAN be empathetic without having gone through something similar yourself; you don't have to have suffered a similar loss. But you do have to share in their current pain. What does that mean? It can mean something as simple as lending a helping hand. Help to ease their burden, even if it's in the smallest of ways.

Now we're about to get REAL...

This is something I need/have to be better at. I can be extremely self-centered at times. I have come to recognize that I usually look for the personal benefit before doing something. Isn't that terrible? That I have a much easier time doing something if I can see a personal benefit to it? SO SELF-CENTERED. I really discovered this about myself when I was 100% on board with doing that Facebook gift-exchange that was going around (which is kind of illegal by the way...whoops. Disclaimer: I didn't know about the illegality until after I participated) and I was on-the-fence about donating $10 to provide a fun Christmas for a family in need in Indianapolis. Like...what?? I was so IN for doing something that could benefit myself, materialistically, and not-so-sure about something that I knew I wouldn't get any physical benefit from. WOAH. Made me realize that I need to take a step back and think about what is really important in this world. A couple small gifts from people I don't even know that I'm likely to get rid of and that will just take up space in my home? Or gift a very small monetary amount to a single mom and her four kids so that they can have a Merry Christmas?

Definitely the latter. This is a goal of mine in 2020 and something I really want to focus on. To be more mindful of where and how I'm spending my money and to do more good with anything I have to spare. It all goes back to the original topic of conversation: just because someone carries it well, doesn't mean it's not heavy. You never know what someone is going through or what they have been through. Treat everyone you come across with as much kindness and respect as humanly possible. And if you do happen to know what they're going through and they do seem to be handling it well, know that they're probably burning up inside just waiting for someone to tell them they're not alone. Have compassion for others, always, and do your best to empathize with them. Being a christian is more than just showing up for church on Sunday; it's doing God's work outside of His home.

Let's all work towards living our lives with more compassion and empathy in 2020.

A place to be #unapologeticallyme.